Many bad things are bound to happen in life. It doesn't matter if you are a writer, or someone else. You will be rejected. You may create the most amazing product and be the most amazing person, yet someone will find something to criticize. Often they will even go out of their way to do so. It's sad and it doesn't have to be that way.
So, how do I personally deal with rejection? The short answer is - I don't. I don't handle it well at all, or at least I didn't. I'm not sure if every new author is like this, but when Marysvale came out, I scoured the internet for reviews. On one popular site I found a review with one star by someone who only read the first chapter. At that time the first chapter was all there was of Marysvale for free. I was angry. My mind was pulling an inner John Wayne and telling me to "toughen up pilgrim", but I felt crushed. I tried balancing it by reading some good reviews. After a short time I learned that, for me, reading any reviews was a bad idea. My moods were being influenced by others. I was giving others control over me. Buy why avoid good reviews? Well, to find the good ones, I was bound to stumble across the bad ones and curiosity often got the better of me. For me, until I learned how to not let others determine my mood, avoiding reviews worked.
Over time I learned something more important: many good things are bound to happen in life as well. Which ones are you going to give ear to?
"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet." - Roger Miller, Bob's Dylan & Marley.
Don't gloss over that point. It's human nature to expect the worse. The challenge and reward comes in seeing the good. Even when it just simply looks bad. Until time passes, it's hard to claim something was truly bad. Getting laid off work is the worst thing right? Hugely successful businesses have started from individuals who have been laid off. Businesses that would not have happened if the eventual founder hadn't been forced out the door. I know of an individual who, while hiking alone in the winter, survived two avalanches, broke his hip, crawled for days, was dehydrated, starving, cold, etc.. Finally he collapsed, unable go on. Couldn't get any worse, right? Well, It started to snow. In utter exhaustion and defeat he passed out. It snowed so much that it buried him, allowing him to rest, and insulating him enough that he didn't die of hypothermia. He continued on and survived to tell the tale.
Expect the worst and you will find it. Expect the best and you will find it.
A healthy dose of reality and perspective may help you as well. If only 1% of the population loves you and the rest hate you, guess what? You will still be a very successful author. 1% of the U.S. population is roughly 30 million. Royalties from 30 million copies isn't bad! However, success based on one's bank account is a very shallow definition.
I believe you are your work. Don’t trade the stuff of your life-time for nothing more than dollars. That’s a rotten bargain. Rita Mae Brown, Author
So, how do I personally deal with rejection? The short answer is - I don't. I don't handle it well at all, or at least I didn't. I'm not sure if every new author is like this, but when Marysvale came out, I scoured the internet for reviews. On one popular site I found a review with one star by someone who only read the first chapter. At that time the first chapter was all there was of Marysvale for free. I was angry. My mind was pulling an inner John Wayne and telling me to "toughen up pilgrim", but I felt crushed. I tried balancing it by reading some good reviews. After a short time I learned that, for me, reading any reviews was a bad idea. My moods were being influenced by others. I was giving others control over me. Buy why avoid good reviews? Well, to find the good ones, I was bound to stumble across the bad ones and curiosity often got the better of me. For me, until I learned how to not let others determine my mood, avoiding reviews worked.
Over time I learned something more important: many good things are bound to happen in life as well. Which ones are you going to give ear to?
"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet." - Roger Miller, Bob's Dylan & Marley.
Don't gloss over that point. It's human nature to expect the worse. The challenge and reward comes in seeing the good. Even when it just simply looks bad. Until time passes, it's hard to claim something was truly bad. Getting laid off work is the worst thing right? Hugely successful businesses have started from individuals who have been laid off. Businesses that would not have happened if the eventual founder hadn't been forced out the door. I know of an individual who, while hiking alone in the winter, survived two avalanches, broke his hip, crawled for days, was dehydrated, starving, cold, etc.. Finally he collapsed, unable go on. Couldn't get any worse, right? Well, It started to snow. In utter exhaustion and defeat he passed out. It snowed so much that it buried him, allowing him to rest, and insulating him enough that he didn't die of hypothermia. He continued on and survived to tell the tale.
Expect the worst and you will find it. Expect the best and you will find it.
A healthy dose of reality and perspective may help you as well. If only 1% of the population loves you and the rest hate you, guess what? You will still be a very successful author. 1% of the U.S. population is roughly 30 million. Royalties from 30 million copies isn't bad! However, success based on one's bank account is a very shallow definition.
I believe you are your work. Don’t trade the stuff of your life-time for nothing more than dollars. That’s a rotten bargain. Rita Mae Brown, Author
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